u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
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So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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