garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
