you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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