Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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