something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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