She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
But break dance skills will only take you so far
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
