This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
