I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
