he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
