Fuck appropriateness.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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