ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
