As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
