Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize