How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
