And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im holly from the hills drunk
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
