once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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