There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
