RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
