I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
