Already got asked if we're dating
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize