Little spoons don't ask big questions
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
