Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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