Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
