but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
