I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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