This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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