Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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