Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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