I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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