woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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