dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
