So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
