You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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