I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
