Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
