you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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