One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
