I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So many bounce houses so little time
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
