I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
