He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
