I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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