Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
