can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
