her vagine was all disorganized.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
