If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
