i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
