im about as happy as oj after his trial
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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