Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
