we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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