There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
