so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
