How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
