So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
