that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
