So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
