You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
