is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this boner is exhausting
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
