my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
