She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
