Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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