My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
