then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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