i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
